Couples Therapy
COUPLES COUNSELLING
Relationship, marriage and couples therapy to enhance understanding and communication.
Do you want to break self-defeating behaviours and negative interactional cycles?
At Therapy Tides, we work with you to help you transform your relationship into a source of protection and comfort. Every couple has unique needs, so we apply different modalities during your sessions. These include systemic therapy, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and the attachment theory framework.
We begin by establishing a solid therapeutic bond built on curiosity, humility, and centeredness. We also acknowledge the painful rejection and lack of validation associated with experiencing a trauma-related relationship.
Your counsellor will employ a slow-paced rhythm and systematic approach to guarantee you move forward in a way that allows both partners to gradually engage in new ways of responding to each other.
If you are ready to work to increase harmony and reduce disappointment and resentment in your relationship, get in touch today.
We begin by establishing a solid therapeutic bond built on curiosity, humility, and centeredness. We also acknowledge the painful rejection and lack of validation associated with experiencing a trauma-related relationship.
Your counsellor will employ a slow-paced rhythm and systematic approach to guarantee you move forward in a way that allows both partners to gradually engage in new ways of responding to each other.
If you are ready to work to increase harmony and reduce disappointment and resentment in your relationship, get in touch today.
Is Couples Counselling right for you?
At Therapy Tides, we have worked successfully with many couples to facilitate growth and help partners establish a more secure emotional connection. You can access a wide range of benefits when you engage with couples counselling.
- reciprocally, creating secure attachment relationships in the present
- relational growth in both partners and their relationship to one another
- harmony in the relationship and support for the intimate partner in developing Self-leadership
- reductions in posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms and higher relationship satisfaction
- being less vulnerable to shame and other negative emotions
- transformation of anger into a resource for change rather than a weapon
- increased courage to hear feedback without putting up a protective wal
- speaking truths with care and respect
- the discovery of one's innate intelligence and capacity for healing
- accessing the capacity for love and care that comes from within the Self
- increased acceptance of the humanness of the partner and their capacity to grow and love deeply
How do we know if we need couples therapy?
Choosing to engage in a relationship can feel like a leap of faith into uncharted waters. The intention and expectation are to feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved. But more often than not, both partners know little about love and intimacy. So, when your partner gets distracted, preoccupied, disconnected, and feels unavailable, disappointment and resentment can arise, creating agitation where there should be smooth sailing and a feeling of safety.
Clinical research shows that people who have experienced trauma in their own lives are more likely to have partners with trauma history. These traumas can be re-enacted in the relationship, and both partners may find themselves engulfed by unconscious defence mechanisms, which may escalate tension and lead to misunderstanding.
If you feel that, as a couple, you are triggering trauma responses of helplessness, anger, fear, and shame in each other, then couples therapy may be very helpful.
How can Therapy Tides help?
At Therapy Tides, we use different modalities to help you navigate choppy waters. We facilitate both individuals in the relationship to move towards greater autonomy and agency as they face an enhanced awareness of their personal internal family system, defence mechanisms, and attachment styles.
This increased awareness empowers different choices. You and your partner will also grow by observing the other person attempting to shape new ways of communicating and responding to challenges. This observation will likely increase empathy, compassion, and tolerance as you see the effort being made by the other person in service of the relationship.
This process facilitates previously unmet needs to be finally met, creating an environment where each is better able to co-regulate the triggered trauma responses of helplessness, anger, fear, and shame in the other.
If these ideas resonate with you, Therapy Tides may be the right place for you to begin couples therapy. Get in touch today to explore whether we are a good fit for your therapeutic goals.
Counselling and therapeutic Sessions are offered in person and Online and can be held in English, Spanish, Italian, or French.
Qualifications & Experience
Paola is an approved member of the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC). She holds a NZ Master in Clinical Psychology, is certified in Eye Movement and Desensitisation Therapy (EMDR) and in Internal Family Systems (IFS) informed EMDR.
She is a member of the Spanish Federation of Associations of Psychotherapists (FEAP) and is now based in private practice in Blenheim.
Paola successfully works with individuals and couples through her Private Practice. She is also qualified to offer supervision for students and other professionals working in therapeutic and mental health contexts.
Paola has extensive experience in Protection and Social Services as well as in Psychiatric settings. She has worked across Relationship and Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, providing assessments, psychotherapy, and formal Family Court reports.
Browse our range of services here.